Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
