let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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