hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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