Having a random hookup so left but love u
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
