this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
