Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
