Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
