Soap is not a condiment
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
