you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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