He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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