Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
