Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
