I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
