All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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