Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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