Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
