I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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