This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
