How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
