my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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