Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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