If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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