Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
