I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
