well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
