so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
