As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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