you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize