how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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