Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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