Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
