Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
