Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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