she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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