Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
