is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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