he thought i was a dude.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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