Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
