I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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