Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize