Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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