In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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