Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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