Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
