I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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