I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
