Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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