Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
