why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
