you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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