Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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