did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
