I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
