whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I pour the whiskey from now on
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
