i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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