The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
