he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
