PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
