Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
