That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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