im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
