Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
