you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
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