my sisters under your porch take her home
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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