just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
