wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
