i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize