He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize