The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
