the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize